It’s nice to know I have the worst one out there!

And somehow still love it, haha.

Here's my view.  If you're buying a Jeep then complaining about comfort, wind noise, and fuel economy, you should question why you bought it in the first place.  Their reliability scores are valid.  But there's two points I'd make there.  First, you gotta be able to do some of the work yourself.  There's no way it makes sense otherwise, since yer gonna break stuff!  Second, There are compromises made in design to give them the capability we all want.  I have to say, I'd be pretty unhappy if I had a new one and found that it starved itself of fuel, wouldn't engage the lockers, etc.  

My advise, by the previous generation, learn it, keep it running, and enjoy the experience.  You'll spend half the money, and still enjoy it.  I find my JK to be a good balance of capability, comfort, and reliability and I push mine to the max on daily driving, towing, and off-roading.  I do spend a lot of time in tinkering, preventative maintenance, and fixing what I break or wear out.